A monster keeps you from getting where you want to go. Some monsters are real—like a barracuda lurking beneath your boat. Most of the monsters that keep us from getting where we want to go exist wholly in our minds. In today’s episode, we talk about slaying the mental monsters that are standing between you, the people you want to serve, and the wealth you want to create.
Welcome to Rich & Thin™ Radio, the only podcast that helps you earn more and weigh less. I’m Kelly Hollingsworth and if getting more bank with less bulk is what you want, I’m glad you’re here because I want it, too, and in this show we talk about how to make that happen.
The topic for this week is slaying your monsters, and here of course we’re talking about the monsters that are lurking inside your own head. Spoiler alert: that’s where pretty much all the monsters are. It’s just like the monsters that were lurking in your closet or under your bed when you were a kid. They weren’t really there—they were just big monsters that you made up in your mind. And if you’re struggling in your business or with your body, it’s because you have some monsters that need to be put in their place, and this week we’re going to talk about how to make that happen.
Today’s our business episode, so we’re going to talk about an example of a monster in business, and for our second episode this week, we’ll do the same thing in our body episode.
First, let’s define our terms. What is a monster, and how do you know if you have one?
How do you know if you have a business monster?
A monster, in every sense of the word, is something that keeps you from getting where you want to go.
Some monsters are literal. They’re real. An example is a barracuda lurking beneath your sailboat, that keeps you stuck in the water because you can’t get past him to get back on the boat. This happened to me once. I was invited to spend a weekend on my friend’s sailboat back when I was living in St. Thomas, and I decided to do some snorkeling, and a giant barracuda, about as long as me or maybe longer, decided to set up camp right underneath my friend’s boat, and when I decided I was done snorkeling and that it was time to get out of the water, that barracuda lunged at me, and every time it did that, I was afraid to go any closer to the boat. And this went on for what seemed like hours. Every time I swam towards the swim dock on the boat, it would dart out at me, and I was afraid it was going to attack me. Barracuda are very territorial, and if one gets ahold of you it can shred your arms and legs and wreak all kinds of damage in a heartbeat. Barracuda attacks on humans are relatively rare, but they do happen and my view on risk is that when it’s an intolerable risk, such as the shredding of one’s flesh, it doesn’t matter if the chance that it’s going to happen is small in statistical terms. That barracuda was coming at me and not wanting me to get close to the boat, and I decided the damage he could inflict if this fish was the one-in-a-million barracuda that would attack a human simply wasn’t worth the risk, however low it might be. So there it was, this giant barracuda underneath my friend’s sailboat, and I wound up spending way more time in the water than I wanted to, because I had to wait for it to decide to leave. I didn’t have a harpoon or a weapon, probably wouldn’t have known how to use even if I did, and I didn’t know what else to do, so I just waited for it to leave, and eventually it did, and then I was able to get back on the boat.
So that’s an example of a literal monster. It’s there, you can see it, and it’s literally standing between you and where you want to go.
Other monsters, like the monster beneath your bed, are figurative. They’re a construct that exist only in our minds, but they feel just as real, and the perception that they are real keeps us just as stuck. Maybe even more stuck. Did you ever lie awake as a kid, wanting a drink of water or to go to the bathroom, but you didn’t move because of the idea that there was a monster underneath? If you’ve done this, you know what it’s like to feel paralyzed by a mental monster, and this type of monster is even more insidious than the barracuda beneath the boat, because the barracuda eventually went away, whereas the mental monsters are often there in perpetuity, unless we get some clarity and some coaching to get rid of them.
I could talk on and on and on about the business monsters that lurk in our brains, and how coaching helps get rid of them so that you can get on with business, but instead of talking on and on and on, I just want to share with you one recent example that came up this week in Rich & Thin™ Workshop. If you’re just joining us and you don’t yet know what that is, It’s a coaching forum where we are working from the premise that low bank and high bulk, in other words, not enough money in our lives and too many pounds on our bodies, all stem from the same faulty thinking, and dissolving those broke and bulky thoughts leads to true wealth—the body you want, the business you want, and ultimately, the life you want.
Every week in Rich & Thin™ Workshop we uncover another parallel, another thought that leads to both broke and bulky, and this week the parallel we uncovered was the idea of slaying the mental monster that’s keeping you stuck when you’d rather be moving forward, growing your business, and living the life you were meant to have.
So here’s the recent example. I’ve been coaching a client on why she wasn’t moving forward with her business, and specifically on why she wasn’t making offers. She’s been saying that she doesn’t have time to make offers. Her life is really frantic these days, lots of things going on, and I suggested that then it was time to quit. Because if you’re at the stage where it’s time to make offers and you’re not making offers, at some point you should acknowledge that you’re not doing it, and stop operating under the illusion that you are “doing something” in your business.
Why is this the coaching suggestion I gave to this client? Because I think she should quit? No. This was my suggestion because she’s sitting on a 7-figure business, and she wants a 7-figure business, but as long as she’s thinking the busy work she’s doing is getting her somewhere, she’s doing herself a disservice because she’s letting years go by where she’s not actually making money. And as her coach, I’d be doing her a disservice if I didn’t point out that if you won’t actually make offers and sign up clients and accept money, you don’t have a business. You have a hobby or an interest or maybe even an obsession, but not a business, and that’s okay if that’s all you want, but what a lot of us who are struggling are doing is pretending we have a business when we’re not making offers or accepting money, and then we’re frustrated and we think business sucks because we’re doing all this work and spending all this time, but we don’t have the money we want, and that’s why business sucks. We think that business is all effort, with no payoff.
What I have to say about this is that the only business that sucks is the one that doesn’t make money. When you do receive money commensurate with the value you provide, then business is amazing. Then you just want to provide more value, and earn more money. And if you want a truly wealthy life, you take your obsession, the value you’re obsessed with creating in the world, and you let that become the thing that you offer. You let that become the way you make money, and that wasn’t happening with this client. Her business centers around her obsession, and she was studying on that obsession and thinking about it and investing in her own education on it, but she wasn’t doing the essential business component of making offers and accepting money, so I suggested that she quit. If there aren’t offers and there isn’t money, this isn’t a business, it’s not going to be if she doesn’t start making offers and start accepting money, and she can quit and see if that’s okay or not okay, but either way, I made the suggestion because it’s critical, every time we are at a juncture like this, not to operate under the illusion that we are “working on” a business when we refuse to do the critical components that make it a business.
So what happened with this client? Whenever you think about quitting, whenever you give yourself permission to quit, you get clarity. Often it’s helpful to stop pushing on a problem, back away for a minute, and see what happens and how your thoughts reveal themselves. Typically what happens, if you’re not using “backing away for a minute” as an excuse to quit in a thoughtless way because you don’t want to slay your own mental monster—that’s an entirely different exercise that goes nowhere—but if you just put some space, some thoughtful space, between you and the thing that’s vexing you, if you stop pushing, you might figure out that the thing you’re pushing on is a door that opens to the inside, not the outside. In other words, if you stop pushing on a door that won’t open, you might realize that you actually need to pull, not push.
And that’s what happened with this client. She was telling me she didn’t want a business, because she didn’t have time for a business, but separate and apart from that, she took on a project that’s going to take up hours of each weekend for the next several weekends. Why? Because she wanted to make some money.
And this was revelatory. The issue wasn’t that she didn’t have any time. The issue was that she thought she needed to invest additional time in the “business” before it would pay off. She didn’t just think that, she was insisting on it.
And this is what everyone thinks. We think our business is a beast that must be fed, with our time, our money, our attention, and maybe, someday, it will bring us some value, but probably it won’t. But we have to feed it. In this client’s mind, her “business” was that thing she had to feed, it was the thing that was standing between her and money. So I told her to kill it. Instead of having a business, just have some clients. Deal directly with them, and get some money from them in exchange for services, and just leave business off to the side.
This is a different way of looking at things that was helpful for her, because we removed a mythological monster—“the business”–that didn’t need to be there in her mind, and that was causing her trouble. She has time to do some weekend-work for someone and make money doing it. What she doesn’t have time to do is feed the business beast that never pays off, and the fact is that none of us do.
So if this “business” is the thing that’s standing between you and making offers and providing services and value and getting money in exchange
Just bypass that beast, help your people, and make some money doing it. Forget that you have a business, and this, by the way, is how I’ve always thought about my own earning life. I never thought of myself as a business owner. Although I clearly was, I never thought of myself as owning a business. I just had people to whom I provided services, and they paid me. Maybe it was legal services through the law firm that I own, maybe it was these people being in my hedge fund… Whatever it was, that was how I looked at it. There’s no business between us, there’s no business that has to be fed. It’s not this big entity between us that I have to deal with or think about. In my mind, commerce is just the people. It’s people who want something, people who are willing and able to provide it, those people doing a transaction with each other, and everyone being better off as a result.
When this client saw this thought that business was a best that she had to feed that wasn’t going to pay her, and she mentally got rid of it, and just thought about dealing with clients directly, her commercial life felt a lot more clear, and a lot easier.
Another mental monster this client slayed, or is in the process of slaying now that it’s been identified, is that there needs to be a ton of additional time put in before offers can be made. To this, all I have to say is NO. Capital N, Capital O. Once you know your offer and you know what to say, you’ve completed steps one and two of my simple business plan that works with every type of business, and you’re done with the “investment” portion of the entrepreneurial endeavor, it’s time to for the investment to start paying off. It’s time to get out there, start making offers, start helping people, and start making money.
Business is easy, my friends. Step one: decide on your offer. Step two, distill that offer into compelling, resonant message. Step three, deliver the message. Get out there and make the offers. Step four is where you do the deal. You provide the good or service in exchange for the money.
If you’re stuck at any one of these steps, you have a mental monster that needs a harpoon right between the eyes. If you can slay it on your own, fantastic. Most of us can’t. This is why every high-performing person on the planet has a coach. Maybe multiple coaches. High-performing people invest in coaching because they don’t want to burn months, years, or even decades with one foot on the brake, one on the gas, and the illusion that they’re going somewhere, when really they’re just burning time, spinning their wheels and burning resources.
So if you are struggling, isn’t it time to get some help slaying the monsters? I don’t want you to be out there, alone in the ocean, fighting your business barracudas all by yourself if that’s proving too difficult for you. If you’re in that boat, get in touch. firstname.lastname@example.org, or go to richandthin.com where you can access my calendar and set up a time to have a free but very valuable chat with me so you can get some clarity about what’s troubling you, and we can see if there’s a fit in us working together so that you can get everything you want, and out from under everything you don’t want. I want this for you. I also want to thank for being here today , and I want to thank you for being here today. I look forward to talking with you next time.