A rabbit trail is a path that doesn’t take you where you want to go. How many of those have you been down, in your efforts to lose weight? I’ve been on too many myself, and today I share an update of what I’m doing to make sure that my current weight-loss effort doesn’t turn into another rabbit trail, but actually gets me to goal weight for good this time!
Welcome to Rich & Thin™ Radio, the only podcast that helps you achieve and maintain seriously amazing results with your business and with your body. Today’s episode is for every listener who’s been down too many rabbit trails with weight loss efforts. You’ve tried this and that and the other thing, with some good results here or there, but you always find yourself back at square one or even worse off. I’m Kelly Hollingsworth and if this is you, I’m glad you’re here because right now it’s me, too, and in this show, this year, we’re going to put a stop to that once and for all.
If you’ve been listening to the show, you know that we’ve been focusing on getting everything you want, and out from under everything you don’t want, and my plan is to get to my dream weight of 105 pounds by eating everything I want, and nothing I don’t, and a big reason this is my approach is because I’ve decided I’m never going to diet again. Why not? Because for me, every diet is a rabbit trail, and they also make me squirrelly, if that’s not too many furry forest friends for one sentence.
What I mean by squirrely is that the more I’ve dieted throughout my lifetime, the more I was drawn into overeating and binge eating. So I’ve decided to live in the true spirit of this show and declare myself done with that. A diet means foregoing foods you want in favor of foods you don’t want, and eating less than you want, or sometimes even more than you want. For example, today my friend and coaching colleague Adriane said she was once on a diet where she had to eat 5 cups of kale. So I’m doing the opposite of dieting. If diets cause overeating and binge eating, and they definitely do in my case, then in my mind the cure for that is to stop dieting. So the opposite of a diet is not a binge. The binge is the result of the diet. The opposite of a diet is eating exactly what you want, and no more or no less, and eating nothing that you don’t. If you’re eating exactly what you want and exactly how much of it you want, then you’re not on a diet, and I think this is the road.
So in the interest of Rich & Thin™ Research, this is what I’ve been doing for about a month now, and today I want to give you a progress report on how it’s going.
Before we get started, though, I’d like to fill you in on a bit of good news that a listener shared with me last night. She said she’s been binge-listening to the podcasts and she wanted to let me know that, “I asked for more money, and I got it. Just wanted to share that with you. I’m now teaching concurrent credit trigonometry, which I was already doing, but I wasn’t getting paid. And as of this year, I am getting paid. So I just wanted to share that with you.” She concluded her message with, “All you have to do is really want it and be willing to ask, and not be a doormat who does the work for no money.”
The first thing I want to say about this message is that although I don’t think I’d call anyone a doormat for underearning, I’m thrilled that this listener solved this problem in her life. I don’t know exactly what concurrent credit trigonometry is, but whatever it is, it’s pretty obvious to me that no one should be doing that for free, so congratulations to this listener for putting an end to that situation. Great work! The second thing I’d like to say about this is that it’s always nice to get a message like this and know that the podcast is helping, so for you other listeners out there, if you’re taking something you’ve learned in the show and putting it to work, please let me know and I’ll share it on the podcast. Email me, firstname.lastname@example.org.
The second little tidbit I want to share with you is that the 2019 Academy Award nominations are out, and A Star is Born was nominated for several. So exciting! My sister who lives near me is having a party on February 24th so we can watch the award ceremony together, and for every Oscar that the movie gets, I’m giving out a free copy of the DVD A Star is Born to the listeners who want to participate in a random drawing. To enter the drawing, all you have to do is post a review of the podcast in iTunes, which I guess is now called Apple podcasts or something like that, and then email a screenshot of your review and your U.S. mailing address to email@example.com. The drawing is on February 25th, right after the awards ceremony. So, if on the 24th, A Star is Born and the folks who worked on that movie receive five Oscars, for example, I’ll draw five names at random and send each person a DVD of the movie. So if you want in on potentially getting one of those copies, all you have to do is post a review of the podcast in Apple Podcasts aka iTunes between now and February 24th, and email me a screen shot of the review and your name and U.S. mailing address.
Okay so that’s enough housekeeping for now. Today I promised to talk about avoiding rabbit trails in your weight-loss efforts, so the first thing I want to do is look back to our business episode this week and summarize what we learned about avoiding rabbit trails in business. One thing is that it’s really important to see what your thoughts are getting you. We get what we think, and if the needle isn’t moving in your business or on the scale, the first place to look is at what’s happening in your own brain.
On this point, I’d like to say that it’s very difficult to identify your counter-productive thoughts on your own. If you could see these thoughts and see what they were creating for you, you would have taken care of them already. I was talking a couple of different clients this week about earning more in their businesses, and I pointed out some thoughts they were thinking that were killing their revenue and keeping them stuck and they all said, “Oh my word. I never would have seen that if you hadn’t pointed it out.”
This is why everyone needs a coach, my friends. If you’re not hitting the numbers you want, either on the scale or in your business or both, it’s because you’ve got some thoughts clunking around in your head that are keeping you stuck, or possibly even moving in the wrong direction, but you’re not even aware that they are there. So if you need some help, let me know. firstname.lastname@example.org.
Another thing we talked about, in the business episode this week, is that if you want to be effective and really move the ball forward, you have to identify the exact problem you’re trying to solve—this is always more effective than dancing around it–and then find a solution that goes straight to the heart of that problem rather than addressing the symptoms or slapping a bandage on it. In other words, if there’s a bunch of elephant dung on your floor, you have to look for the elephant in the room and get him out of there. A flyswatter isn’t going to help, nor is a broom and a bucket.
The other thing we learned about avoiding rabbit trails is that in the beginning, the work you’re doing is largely internal. For example, the process of distilling your offer as we discussed in Episode 50, occurs largely in your head. There’s not really any action happening during this step, and what that means is that although the process is invaluable, it’s not something that the people around you are likely to notice. The shift is internal, and this is key. Lasting results always start from the inside out. In other words, you’re going to feel different before you, or your business, begin to look different. This is happening with Elena, the listener we discussed last time. After only a week of coaching, she’s feeling lighter and has more clarity, even though nothing is happening in her business that anyone else would notice. If we were watching a movie of Elena’s life right now, there’d be nothing happening on the screen right now, but she’s sensing big shifts inside, that will lead to big shifts on the outside.
And this is exactly what’s happening with me since I started eating everything I want and nothing I don’t. I haven’t really lost weight. I’ve gone down a pound or two, at one point I was down about 4 pounds, when I’m really dialed in to not eating anything I don’t want the numbers on the scale move down, but the biggest shift is definitely happening inside.
The elephant in the room, as far as my weight-loss is concerned, is the desire to overeat and binge eat during times of trouble. I thought I had this licked. I was doing really great with my weight for two years of recovery from injuries, during which time I couldn’t exercise at all, I maintained the lowest weight of my adult life. And then bam! Trouble. An overzealous physical therapist and his hurly-burly PT assistant busted up my rib cage, and I lost my mind and found myself right back in the Cherry Garcia.
So now I’ve gained weight, and I’d like to give you a little glimpse into what this looks like for me. I started a podcast called Rich & Thin™ Radio, based on the idea that the same business principles that help you get rich also help you get thin, and with some track record of success in using these principles in my own life and with clients, and that’s when this problem reared its ugly head. Why am I pointing this out to you? Because the obstacle is the way, my friends. In other words, it’s tempting for me, under these circumstances, to hide and say, I’m a failure at this weight-loss coaching thing. I should just do a “Rich” podcast and forget the “Thin” part, but if I did that I’d be missing a huge opportunity. What my unmanaged mind wants to view as an obstacle, i.e. I’ve gained weight, is actually an opportunity because this weight I’ve gained is evidence that mind management actually works for weight loss, just as it does for business, and when you stop managing your mind, things go the wrong way.
When I was managing my mind and thinking thoughts that served me, my weight was fine, even though I couldn’t sit, stand, or walk, much less work out. When I stopped managing my mind, my weight wasn’t fine. So this means that the principles do work, and now I’m telling you about everything I’m doing to turn this boat around, not just now, but forever. Because I never want to be back here again.
So in the spirit of using everything for me and my business rather than against me and my business, I’m going to use this this rabbit trail I went on last year as information. What went wrong, and what do I need to do to fix it?
Where I went wrong was that although I felt really solid, there was a crack in my foundation that I didn’t know was there, and the crack was perfectionism.
Yesterday I was talking about this with Adriane in Rich & Thin™ Workshop, and we were having yet another rousing discussion about how the same principles that help you lose weight help you grow your business, and once again, the discussion was revelatory. Adriane started out saying that she was trying to hit upon the exact right plan to get her business going and when she found it that’s when it would take off. And then we were talking about weight loss, in a completely unrelated discussion, and she said that when she was struggling with her weight, she had all this perfectionism going on. She needed the perfect plan and she couldn’t get started unless she knew what it was, and if she went off the plan, then she’d binge or overeat before she went back on the plan. She said she only became effective at weight loss when she let the idea of a perfect plan go, and decided to just deal with things as they came in the moment. She said she did the same as an actress. She started going to auditions, even if she didn’t feel that she was quite up to Meryl Streep level, and that’s how she started learning and improving her craft and getting acting jobs.
She was telling me about this, and I was transcribing every word she said, and as I was doing it, she wasn’t even thinking about how earlier she’d said that she needed a perfect plan for this new business, and I read the words back to her, about how the perfect plan didn’t work for either acting or weight loss, and that was a forehead slapping moment for her.
And I had the same forehead slapping moment, too. The reason I fell into a vat of Cherry Garcia and swam around in it and gained weight was because of my perfectionist thoughts. I was thinking, “I’ve screwed this up so I may as well keep going, because I’m going to have to get back on the perfect plan tomorrow, and then there’s no more soothing myself with this ice cream, so I’d better soothe myself enough now to last forever.”
All that soothing is hanging out on my stomach right now. I’ve never had a chubby stomach in my life, even when I was heavier my stomach was always flat, but now I have tummy pudge.
The good news here is that the idea that I can have everything I want and nothing I don’t has killed this all-or-nothing thinking that was putting weight on me. There was one night where I really wanted some Cherry Garcia, or at least I thought I did, so even thought I generally shun all forms of sugar, I decided to follow my new paradigm to the letter and I went and bought some. But with the thought that I could truly eat all of it that I wanted, not just today but in perpetuity, I felt no need to plow through the entire pint and maybe even another pint—something I could have easily done in the past–instead, I had some of the first pint and I thought, “Do I really want this?” And I thought, no, I don’t. And I got up and threw it away.
So let’s recap. Did you hear that my friends? I threw it away. I still felt terrible in the morning, and even had trouble sleeping that night, because sugar does that to me. It makes me feel terrible, and it keeps me awake, but I haven’t even thought about eating sugar since then, including sugar in the delivery mechanism commonly known as Cherry Garcia.
So there you go. In my mind, this is evidence that I’m headed in the right direction with my “eat everything you want and nothing you don’t” plan, even though the numbers on the scale haven’t yet moved in any meaningful way, there is a meaningful shift happening inside of me.
I hope this recap is helpful for you. I’ll continue to keep you posted on how this research is going, how we’re doing in Rich & Thin™ Workshop, what’s happening in there, using myself as the guinea pig, and I hope you’ll post a review of the podcast and email it to me so that I can pull your name out of a hat and send you a copy of A Star is Born if it wins an Oscar or two. Last, I want to say that I sincerely appreciate having you as a listener and I’m looking forward to connecting with you next time.