Ep. #46: Everything You Want (Rich Episode)

How do you create true wealth? You decide to have everything you want and nothing you don’t. Today I explain why adopting this philosophy as a guiding principle for your life and business is both fun and necessary to create true wealth. We also discuss some examples of how it works.


Welcome to Rich & Thin™ Radio, the only podcast that helps you get more bank with less bulk. Today’s episode is for every listener who’s suffering from a broke or bulky problem, which means that something you want is missing from your life, that’s broke, or you’re feeling weighed down by things you don’t want, that’s bulky. I’m Kelly Hollingsworth, and if you have either of these kinds of problems in your life, then I’m very glad you’re here because I don’t want any of us to suffer from broke or bulky ever again. So today I’m going to share with you a life and wealth-building philosophy that I have come to view as the solution to all broke and bulky problems. Not coincidentally, it’s also the philosophy that will very reliably help you reach the opposite, nirvana state of Rich & Thin. As you know, if you’ve been listening to this show, rich and thin is where you have everything  you want and nothing you don’t, and recently I had an epiphany (that I probably should have had a long time ago) that if you want to create this result of true wealth, it’s critical for you to adopt this philosophy that I’m going to talk about today as your guiding principle.

The philosophy is called, “Everything You Want, and Nothing You Don’t,” so of course it would make sense that it goes along with getting true wealth, and here’s how it works: whenever you’re confronted with a decision or a choice or a potential course of action, you think about it in terms of saying yes to exactly what you want, and no to everything you don’t want.

Why is this philosophy so helpful and also so necessary? Because everything begins with a thought. We talked about this way back in Episode 2. Whatever we’re thinking, we create in the world. And this isn’t some metaphysical woo-woo nonsense. It’s very linear and logical. When you think a thought, that thought creates an emotional response in your body, and from a place of certain emotions, we very predictably take certain actions, and when we take those actions, we create the result that we were thinking about. We make our thoughts come true. This is why I always say, the shorthand way of saying this, is that we get what we think. So if you’re thinking that you’re going to have everything you want and nothing you don’t, if you really step into that paradigm and believe it and experience how it feels and take actions from that place, that’s exactly what you will create. You will create the state of rich and thin, the state of true wealth, of having everything you want.

As you know, 2019 is the year we all quit messing around. This is the year we create true wealth for ourselves, and this includes me, too. I definitely don’t want to be left out of that project, so I officially adopted this philosophy of everything you want and nothing you don’t for myself on New Year’s Day. But I have to tell you, it’s such an appealing philosophy that I began practicing over the holidays, and there’s already some crazy-cool stuff going on in my life as a result.

Maybe the craziest thing so far is my amazing new earrings. The first thing I did in my new paradigm of having everything I want and nothing I don’t is tell my husband that I wanted a pair of earrings for Christmas. Not just garden-variety diamond studs, but a serious pair of earrings that make me giddy every time I look at them. And here of course I realize that these diamond earrings are a circumstance, they are neutral, but my thoughts about them make me giddy because I actually have thoughts that these earrings are bestowed with magical powers. They feel like a talisman in my life. So these magical earrings were waiting for me under the tree Christmas morning, and they are decidedly impractical. I imagine most people would look at them and think that in light of my circumstances, this was not the place to spend that money. By “circumstances” I’m referring to things like, oh, our kitchen which is so old, all of our appliances are so old, that I can’t even use a full-size cookie sheet in my oven. It’s tiny. Have you ever wondered why, back when families were bigger, ovens were so much smaller? In any case, that’s my oven. It’s circa 1967. And I also am going to need a new car at some point. Mine is 16 years old now.

So the practical thing to do would have been a new kitchen or a new car, but I didn’t want a new kitchen or a new car. I wanted new earrings, and now I have them and I’m thrilled. They were the only thing I wanted for Christmas, so I told myself, the shift into my new paradigm begins now. I’m going to begin having everything I want, and nothing I don’t. So because I didn’t want a new kitchen or a new car, I wanted some amazing earrings, that was my Christmas morning—opening these amazing earrings. They are the exact size, color, cut, and clarity that I wanted. I didn’t make a single concession, and this was a big departure from my typical mode of operation, because my husband and I don’t usually even exchange gifts. Maybe a little thing here or there, but definitely nothing big, and I’m tired of that, too. I want presents on Christmas morning. Or at least that’s what I wanted this year, so under my new philosophy of having everything I want, I opened up my mouth and I said what I wanted, and this created in the world the exact Christmas morning I wanted. By following my philosophy to the letter, I brought that vision, that dream, into reality and when I did, I felt so wealthy.

And now here you might be saying, “You didn’t do this. Your husband did.” But that wasn’t the essence of this transaction. These earrings didn’t just fall out of the sky because I demanded that someone give them to me. They were a purchase out of our community property, money we’ve earned together, and together we decide what to do with it. And this was a big departure from our usual joint purchases, and it happened only because I decided to have what I wanted, and nothing else.

So this is a philosophy that I want you to consider adopting for yourself. It’s going to feel scary. We’re going to talk about the reasons why a philosophy like this feels scary in upcoming episodes throughout this entire year.

Today though, I just want to focus on the delight of living in this paradigm. I expected to be delighted when I received those earrings, and I was, but here’s something amazing that happened. Other people around me also were delighted. Very frugal people who normally worry about how money gets spent (including my money) also got caught up in the magic of living in this truly wealthy way. On Christmas morning, even my ultra-frugal mother took my husband aside and said, “I want you to know, I think it’s so amazing that you went against your own thoughts about this kind of purchase and bought her the earrings.” And he said, “You know, I was going to get her a car. That’s what I would have bought, but when she said she wanted the earrings, I thought, why would I ever buy her anything she doesn’t want?” And when I overheard this conversation, I thought, that makes perfect sense to me. Why have I been living my life with anything I don’t want?

It is a little contagious to live this way. Even my mother got a little sucked into it when she saw how magical it is to say, “This is the exact thing, the one thing, that I really, really want, and I don’t want any of those other things. It is infectious, in the best way possible, so deciding to live my dream on Christmas morning, getting to live in that moment, and wearing these earrings now, I have them on as I’m recording, is the most sensible thing I’ve ever done. Although it doesn’t seem practical on the surface, it was infinitely sensible, and even my mom seems to think so. She told me later on Christmas day, “I’m so happy that you had the guts to get the thing you really wanted, instead of something else that didn’t quite do it for you. I wish I could do that.”

This sentiment, of getting exactly what you want, stopping the wishing that you could do it, and starting to do it, is what this year is about, my friends. Finding the courage to get everything you want, and to let go of everything you don’t want.

When you decide this, what I’m seeing is that everything gets easier. The other day I was working on a marketing story for one of my hedge fund clients—as you know, the only thing I want to do this year is help my clients write amazing stories that attract customers and bring in revenue—and in working with this client, we had gone through a few rounds of edits, they suggested some changes and I made the changes, and the story was getting better and better as a result. But then we discussed even more edits, and I was starting to feel that we had gone past the point of improving the story, and we were at the tipping point where we were going to begin eroding the magic of what we had built into the story. So as I was sitting down to do the last round of edits, I thought, “This round of edits, I don’t want to do. They don’t make sense and they’re going to ruin the story that we’ve built.”

For a minute, when I thought I had to do these edits that I didn’t want to do, I started feeling very frustrated about that. And I was my mom’s house at the time, she has this big bag of dark chocolate M&Ms, and that’s when I started feeling drawn to going and eating those M&Ms. And then I remembered to direct my brain to my wealth-building thoughts. So I stepped back into my “Everything I want” paradigm and I made a decision about what to do with this round of edits from that paradigm. And I did something completely different. I didn’t go and start doling out handfuls of M&Ms to myself. Instead, I wrote the client an email, and I said, “I don’t want to make these changes. I want to go with what we have, because I think the story is really compelling now. I think if I make these changes, it will be less compelling.”

And lo and behold, what happened? The world cracked open in the best possible way, and the client emailed me back, “Okay! We trust you and you’re the producer on this so let’s stop editing and proceed to the next step.”

It was so easy. It was so light and delightful. And I thought, WHAT? It’s that easy to avoid frustration and just be happy? Just go with what you want? I know that this is easy to do in certain contexts. When I’m having food in a restaurant, for example. I definitely ask for what I want, and I send it back if it isn’t right. And when I do this, my view is that everyone is happier, including the waiter, who gets a better tip, and the restaurant, which gets a happier customer and better word-of-mouth.

So I just want to introduce this philosophy to you today, and I want to introduce how this philosophy is making my life feel so much wealthier and so much better. I realize as I said earlier that there are going to be questions and fears about applying this philosophy. There’s much to be discussed about it and exactly how to apply it, and we’re going to dive into all that in upcoming episodes. For now, all I want you to notice is why this philosophy is necessary. You can’t create something unless you first think you can create it. And I also want you to notice how much fun it is. As you think about applying this philosophy in your own life and in your own business, let yourself experience a little bit of dopamine about this. It will make this philosophy seem more fun. It will make heading down the path to true wealth seem more fun to you.

My husband’s even getting on board. He came in from the hot tub the other night, and he said, “I think I finally get it. I was thinking I couldn’t have what I really wanted, but when I was out there sitting in the hot tub, I thought, No. This applies to me, too!” He was so excited that he, too, could have everything he wanted, and nothing he didn’t. He was feeling giddy about it, just as I feel when I think about my new earrings.

It’s truly a contagious way to live, in the best way possible. Now I want to bring this around to a business example so you can kind of see how it works in a different context. I had a conversation with a listener of the podcast recently. He’s a business owner, and he and I were talking about how he wants to bring in an extra $5 million into his life to make some investments and create more security for his family. So he was thinking about selling off a piece of his business in exchange for that money.

And looking at this transaction through our wealth-building lens of having everything you want and nothing you don’t, I said, “Okay, so you want $5 million dollars. Do you want a business partner?”

And he didn’t even have to think about this. He said, “No. I do not want a business partner.” There was no hemming or hawing about this. He was very certain. Very emphatic. But in his brain, he was faced with a choice between only two possible paths: one, continue with his business as he had been, where he wasn’t pulling a lot of cash out of the business but rather, reinvesting it into the business, or two, sell a piece of the business to gather the $5 million that he wants.

Neither of these works from a wealth-building standpoint, from a standpoint of true wealth. He wants the money, and he doesn’t want a business partner. So we need to find the third way, and the third way is of course writing a story that brings in more customers and increases his cash flow by the $5 million so he gets everything he wants and nothing he doesn’t want.

Practically speaking, he’s going to have to do this anyway. He’s going to have to increase his cash flow, because what happens when you sell a piece of your business to raise some cash that you want for personal or even business reasons? You get the cash, of course, but in exchange for that, you put yourself at the mercy of the new owner’s demands. And what is every new business partner, who buys in for $5 million, or $2 million or whatever amount, going to want? He or she, that new business partner, is going to want a return on that investment. That means the new partner is going to want increased cash flow.

So think about that. If you’re contemplating taking on a partner to pull some cash out of your business. You could just create the cash flow now, and continue to own 100% of your business and all of that cash would go straight to you. Or you could sell a piece of your business and create the cash flow later, and a big share of the additional cash would go to the new owner. Which would you rather do? I would rather own 100% of my business.

One of the reasons entrepreneurs are entrepreneurs is that they don’t want to work for someone else. They don’t want another person’s demands or vision or whims to swing them around by the tail. So I encourage every business owner who wants cash but who doesn’t want a business partner, to think more creatively, to see beyond selling off equity, because partnership is where businesses go to die. I think Dave Ramsey says this, too, and this is one place where I emphatically agree with him.

The way out of this is to step into the paradigm of having everything you want and nothing you don’t, and when you do, you start seeing things differently. Rather than settling for crummy compromises that don’t quite do it for you, you’ll open your brain up to seeing other options, far more effective options, for building your wealth. Not just more money, but true wealth. Effective story-telling will get this for you every time. And the way to take advantage of effective story-telling is to step into the paradigm that you can have everything you want and nothing you don’t.

So what’s super exciting for me is that I get to help this listener write the story that will bring this additional money into his business, because he has decided to step into the paradigm of having everything he wanted, and not just settling for crummy compromises.

If you want some help doing the same thing with your business, definitely let me know. A great marketing story can help you pull more cash out of your business. May as well do that now before you take on a partner rather than after. A great story also can help you revive a business that’s been humming along on auto-pilot for a while, and it will definitely kick-start your launch, if you’re just starting out. If you’re listening because you’re a frustrated entrepreneur who’s feeling stuck in employment, I’m willing to bet that mostly, the call of the cubicle appeals because you don’t know how you’ll bring in business if you go out on your own. Story will help you, too, because story is universal. Story appeals to your listener, and it solves your problems.

So this is the year you get everything you want, and I can help you get it with a great story that brings in customers and increases your cash flow. If you want to chat about this, email me at kelly@richandthin.com, and please join me for the second episode this week, it’s airing on Thursday, where we’re going to discuss how to apply the “Everything You Want” philosophy in terms of shedding weight. That’s our “thin” episode for this week. I hope you join me for that, and I want to thank you for being here today!

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